I literally have too many things trapped in my mind that they often seep out of my gatekeeping mouth. I figure, if I don’t let all these often-imploding thoughts out somewhere, I might end up like one of those losers I see so often — especially in socially, sexually, mentally (the list goes on… it’s a wonder not more people implode) repressed Singaporeans — so hypersensitive to a stranger’s touch, so unhappy, so stoned and yet so scared to say anything that will do some justice in the world. So, here I am… hoping to see to fruition at least one thing in my life.
The truth is, I’m just so angry with my life in Singapore — I’m angry that people are so complacent, I’m angry that the government treats people like they are 10-year-olds, I’m angry that when I’m at the door of the MRT waiting to get out, a storm of people barges in without any regard for the people who want to get out. I figured that rather than complain about it in some stupid, useless forum page in the local newspapers, or worse, suffer in silence and walk around like I have a rough-skin, bark-type stick up my arsehole (not pleasurable as it would to some of you who like a smooth cock or dildo up your forbidden, illegal, can-get-you-straight-to-jail sexual-cum-excretory exit). Nope, I’d rather die than lump myself with the 30 or so losers who regularly write in to newspapers complaining about their neighbours, about public transport, immigrants or God-forbid, property prices or the fact that their lives are so fucking empty that they have nothing to do but to complain about the petty, ridiculously absurd things about life. As if life in Singapore is not made convenient enough that you don’t even need to think for yourself.
Everywhere I go in Singapore, I see people walking around like they are dead, empty… and if I get close enough to listen in on their conversations, it’s often empty and pointless as well. It’s either about property prices or buying a condo. If not, people are obsessed with shopping or when they travel, they are obsessed with finding an outlet to do more shopping. Maybe I’m the weird one, but I think life should be more than just about those material stuff and outlets. Don’t get me wrong, I can appreciate a well-made Bottega Veneta wallet or a premium quality Louis Vuitton bag. My point is that how many bags, shoes, wallets, watches, things, things, things and more things can you get before you fill up your empty lives. And if people are not talking about the pointless material things, they are chocking their talk up with pointless, immature things of life… not a word about what’s going on in the world, what our future will be or the issues that are really important in our lives, such as freedom, poverty, abuse, inequality, etc. etc.
Hell, we can’t even talk about sex without beating around the bush — either we avoid the topic altogether and people everyday just pretend that we are all asexual beings, or we overdo it and use it as a convenient punchline.
I’m not sure what I hope to accomplish out of this blog. I just want an anonymous space where I can express my thoughts and feelings about certain subjects and objects. And this is how I will organise my thoughts… each post about a subject or object that triggers my anger, frustration, indifference towards a larger issue. You may not like everything I have to say, but I hope you’ll listen. Anyway, I really don’t care if anyone reads this at all. I just hope there are people out there who feel the same way.