People make a big deal of the first time you have sex, the time when you lose your virginity. But, the reality of two confused, hot and bothered teenagers trying to “get it on” is often not a pretty picture. Well, at least that was true for me. I was 15, and had run away from home in order to “finally” go through this very “special” event that I equated with love. It lasted all of 5 minutes, including the fierce tongue foreplay that led to the rough, dry humping. Suffice to say, I was disappointed after the deed was done, and my then-puppy love and I looked awkwardly at each other, wondering if that was all there is to it. Even subsequent tries sucked as well. But of course, at that age, you have no mental benchmark with which to measure each performance and you don’t know enough to understand what you should be doing. Basically, you eat each other’s face off, tear off the other’s clothes and you hump. That’s all sex was.

But as you get older, as well as more experienced, and your body and mind go through significant maturation and growth, you start to understand what it is your body wants and seek information on ways to satisfy that need. You learn that the mind is really the most powerful sex organ and that vivid fantasies are more useful than aphrodisiacs. You also learn that there are ways to have good sex — or simply to satisfy that gushing surge — with or without a partner. A partner with whom you have a strong emotional connection and share your sexual needs is great because you are able to explore the heights of pleasure together. But such partners, who fit your every criteria, are hard to come by.