Borderline Person

Panic

I feel the tremors of the onset of a panic attack – a familiar feeling that causes me to tense up, and at the same time, go wild like a wound-up doll let loose. In times like these, I shoot straight for the door, looking for some sort of an exit, some way I can get myself out of the current situation and for someone I can rely on. At this point, and at this time, there is no one.

And I am worried for what may happen. In periods like these, my mind run wild, and my insecurities are set loose from a purgatory where they normally reside – and my emotions take siege of logic. I don’t know why I feel like this, or why I have always had these bouts of mania. I remember vignettes as a child where I would be overrun by “nightmares” of awful possibilities and be suffocated by a strange wave of sadness. Maybe I was just born sad.

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