I think I hate him. I do. I can’t be sure if it’s a pattern of my dysfunctional personality, but I feel a negative feeling toward him. He is crass, he is brute, he treats me like I’m invisible, and that I’m never good enough. I hate him – and once upon a time, I might have cared how he felt, but today, I don’t fucking give a shit.
I’ll freely talk to anyone I want. I’ll do what I want – who gives a fuck what he thinks. It’s not like he gives two hoots about what I think. You think he cares about me? Fuck him. Go to hell. All he cares about is himself. How did it come to this point? I don’t know, and don’t even fucking care anymore. The fact that I am starting to notice other guys is just my bodily reaction to how I’m quickly leaving the relationship and not really caring what the fuck he’s doing anymore.