I thought you had a deep eye,
figured you for a decent guy,
but who knew it took but five days,
for you to shed your scaly coat,
and reveal a body made of lies.

I thought you had a keen mind,
figured you for a smart guy,
but who knew it took but five days,
for you to run out of hay,
and turn back into a rednecked ass.

I thought you had a kind heart,
figured you for an honest guy,
but who knew it took but five days,
for you to screw up your pacemaker,
and choke it with diseased blood.

I thought you had a sufficient dick,
figured you for a good lover,
but it’s too bad that at five days,
you went limp, flaccid, and faltered,
and let that little organ take over.